Unstuck: Healing the Trauma Underneath Your Perfectionism | Megan Babcock | 039
Sometimes being stuck doesn’t look like doing nothing. Sometimes it looks like overachieving, people-pleasing, controlling everything around you, overthinking every decision, or working twice as hard so no one ever discovers how uncertain you feel underneath it all.
And sometimes what we call perfectionism is actually protection.
In this conversation, Megan Babcock shares the deeply personal moment when she realized she was repeating with her own child a pattern that had wounded her years earlier. That bathroom-floor moment became the beginning of a journey God used to uncover the fear, trauma, shame, control, and beliefs hiding beneath the life she had worked so hard to keep looking okay. Together, we talk about why changing behavior isn’t enough, how old wounds can continue influencing our present reactions, and why healing with Jesus looks very different from simply trying harder to fix ourselves.
Megan introduces a beautifully simple practice built around curiosity, compassion, and intentional choice: Why am I reacting this way? What do I need in this moment? And how is God asking me to respond? This isn’t another formula to perfect. It’s an invitation to stop running from the places that hurt, listen to what your reactions may be revealing, and allow the Holy Spirit to meet you there. Because sometimes getting unstuck begins when we stop asking, “How do I fix myself?” and start asking, “Jesus, what are You trying to show me?”
Is This Episode For You?
This episode is for you if...
You look productive or high-achieving on the outside but feel exhausted or stuck underneath it.
You struggle with people-pleasing, control, indecision, overthinking, or self-sabotage and haven’t always connected them to perfectionism.
You notice yourself reacting strongly to situations and wonder why certain things trigger such an intense response.
You know Scripture but still find yourself living from fear, shame, or the belief that you aren’t good enough.
You’ve found yourself trying to “fix” your perfectionism by performing your way through healing.
You want to understand how past wounds may be influencing your present relationships.
You’re longing for a simple, Spirit-led way to begin uncovering what is keeping you stuck.
What You’ll Learn
Why being “stuck” can look like both shutting down and constantly achieving, producing, or performing.
How perfectionism can become a way of avoiding pain and searching for external validation.
Why a strong emotional or physical reaction can become an invitation to pause rather than immediately react.
Megan’s three-question Why, What, How process for responding to triggers with curiosity and the Holy Spirit.
How taking thoughts captive involves more than replacing negative thoughts—it also means bringing them under the lordship and character of Christ.
Why compassion is essential to real transformation and why shame often keeps us trapped in the very patterns we are trying to change.
The difference between behavior modification and the deeper heart transformation God desires.
How obedience rooted in love and relationship differs from performance driven by fear of punishment.
Scriptures Mentioned
Getting Curious, Taking Thoughts Captive & Renewing the Mind
2 Corinthians 10:5 — Taking every thought captive and bringing it into obedience to Christ. This becomes foundational to Megan’s healing process.
Galatians 5:22–23 — The fruit of the Spirit becomes a “measuring stick” for examining thoughts and responses: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Romans 12:2 — Transformation through the renewing of the mind.
Psalm 139:23–24 — “Search me” becomes a picture of Megan’s curiosity process: inviting God to reveal what is happening within us rather than simply judging our outward behavior.
God’s Heart, Grace & Freedom From Fear
1 John 4:18 — Perfect love casts out fear. The episode contrasts obedience flowing from love with obedience motivated by fear of punishment.
Romans 8:15 — We have not received a spirit of slavery leading us back into fear, but the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry, “Abba, Father.”
Romans 2:4 — God’s kindness leads us toward repentance.
Psalm 34:18 — The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed or contrite in spirit.
Psalm 51:17 — A broken and contrite heart is a sacrifice God does not despise.
Matthew 5:6 — Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Matthew 5:3 — “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” Healing begins with recognizing our need for God rather than believing we can fix ourselves.
Surrender, Weakness & Abiding in Christ
John 15:4–5 — The vine and the branches: lasting fruit comes from abiding in Christ rather than operating independently of Him.
John 3:30 — “He must increase, but I must decrease.” The Christian journey is increasingly allowing Christ’s nature to become dominant in us.
Philippians 3:12–14 — Paul acknowledges that he has not already arrived but continues pressing forward. Healing is a process, not a perfectionistic destination.
Matthew 11:28–30 — Jesus’ yoke is easy and His burden is light. Megan uses this as a way of recognizing when she has slipped back into striving in her own strength.
2 Corinthians 12:9 — His grace is sufficient, and His power is made perfect in weakness.
Philippians 4:13 — “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Megan discusses how even Scripture can become a form of spiritual bypassing when we quote it without allowing God to address what is happening underneath.
Romans 8:11 — The same Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead lives within the believer.
Luke 9:23 — Taking up our cross daily and laying down what God reveals in us.
Examining Patterns, Relationships & Our Own Hearts
Matthew 7:3–5 — Jesus’ teaching about removing the plank from our own eye before concentrating on the speck in someone else’s.
Genesis 1:26–27 — Humanity was created in the image of God. Megan contrasts being created in His image with the temptation to operate independently as though we can become our own god.
Genesis 3 — Adam and Eve, shame, hiding, the enemy’s distortion of truth, and God’s continued pursuit and covering of humanity after the fall.
Galatians 5:17 — The ongoing conflict between flesh and Spirit.
Continuing to Seek God
Matthew 7:7–8 — Ask, seek, and knock. Megan’s story repeatedly demonstrates continuing to ask God what He means and what the next step should be.
Philippians 1:6 — He who began a good work in you will carry it through to completion.
Lamentations 3:22–23 — God’s mercies are new every morning.
Moses & the Burning Bush
Exodus 2:11–15 — Moses kills the Egyptian, hides what he has done, and flees to Midian.
Exodus 3–4 — God meets Moses at the burning bush and sends him back to Egypt—the place he had run from. This story becomes the framing image for the episode and its central question: What if the thing you are avoiding is the exact place God is waiting for you?
Resources Mentioned
Megan Babcock — board-certified master mental health coach, board-certified holistic nurse coach, author, speaker, and founder of It’s Your Story to Tell.
Unstuck — Megan’s book discussed during the episode.
The Unstuck Key — Megan’s framework using curiosity, compassion, and intentional choice to transform relational triggers into opportunities for growth.
It’s Your Story to Tell — Megan’s nonprofit ministry and resource organization.
itsyourstorytotell.com — Megan’s primary website.
Transformation Academy — Megan’s free resource hub offering practical tools for healing, growth, relationships, and transformation.
Free courses, workshops, Bible studies, and book studies available through It’s Your Story to Tell.
It’s Your Story to Tell Podcast — featuring stories of people navigating difficult seasons and using what they have learned to make a difference.
Coaching scholarships offered through It’s Your Story to Tell.
International Nurse Coaches Association — Megan serves as vice president.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 — shared because the episode contains discussion of domestic violence, sexual abuse, and childhood trauma.
leneepezzano.com — home of The Redeemed Perfectionist episodes and additional resources.
Important context from the episode: Megan is emphatic that God’s specific direction for her to return to a marriage for a six-month period was her personal experience and not advice for someone experiencing domestic violence. She also clarifies that the marriage she was directed to return to was not the marriage in which she had experienced abuse.
Continue Your Journey
If this conversation helped you recognize that what looks like perfectionism on the surface may actually be connected to fear, old wounds, codependency, or the need to control what happens around you, these episodes are natural next steps:
Episode 038 — Codependency, Fear, and Boundaries: A Christian Woman’s Journey to Healing — with Tammy Unger
Continue exploring the connection between fear, codependency, relational patterns, healthy boundaries, and learning to live from a place of greater freedom.
Episode 036 — How to Recognize God’s Voice When Fear Sounds Convincing
Megan’s process depends heavily on being able to bring our questions to God and discern His compassionate conviction from the fearful, critical voices we have become accustomed to hearing.
You may also want to take the Grace Scale Assessment if this episode has you wondering whether perfectionism, performance, or fear may be influencing your relationship with God more than you realized.
And for a deeper biblical foundation on moving from perfectionism and performance into grace, explore You Will Make Mistakes: Discovering God’s Grace in the Midst of Perfectionism.