The Hidden Identity Crisis Behind Perfectionism (Pt 1/2) | 025
In this first part of Leneé’s conversation with speaker, author, coach, and leadership trainer April Farlow, they explore the hidden identity crisis that often lives beneath perfectionism. Many women have spent years becoming who authority figures expected, who culture applauded, who the church praised, or who they believed God demanded—without ever feeling free to discover who they actually are.
April shares powerful stories from her own identity crisis and from her work helping women examine the voices they carry about themselves. Together, she and Leneé discuss comparison, false humility, body image, values, authenticity, and the freedom that comes when we stop trying to be everything and begin embracing the unique gifts, calling, and nature God has placed within us.
This episode is an invitation to remove the filters, question the “shoulds,” and begin living from your God-given identity rather than performing for worth, approval, or belonging.
This Episode Is for You If…
You struggle to answer the question, “Who did God create me to be?”
Your identity has become attached to your career, productivity, relationships, appearance, or accomplishments.
You frequently compare yourself to other women and conclude that you are falling behind.
You feel pressure to be who other people expect you to be.
Your internal voice is far harsher toward you than it is toward the people you love.
You have difficulty identifying what you genuinely like, value, believe, or want.
You are ready to stop performing an identity and begin living authentically with God.
What You’ll Learn
Why perfectionism is often rooted in a deeper identity crisis.
How seasons, circumstances, and roles can become confused with who you truly are.
Why your internal descriptions of yourself may not reflect how God or others see you.
How identifying your values can help free you from comparison.
Why you can be anything God calls you to be, but you cannot be everything.
How authenticity creates safe spaces for other people to remove their own masks.
Why embracing your gifts is not prideful, but an act of receiving what God has given you.
How performance-based faith can become a counterfeit gospel that keeps you striving for worth.
Scriptures Mentioned
Genesis 1:27 — Humanity created in the image of God.
2 Corinthians 5:17 — Anyone in Christ is a new creation.
Romans 8:15 — Receiving the Spirit of adoption and crying, “Abba, Father.”
1 Corinthians 3:6 — God is the One who gives the increase.
Proverbs 27:2 — Let another person praise you rather than your own lips.
John 4:23–24 — Worshiping God in spirit and in truth.
John 16:13 — The Holy Spirit leading believers into truth.
Proverbs 11:14 — Safety in a multitude of counselors.
Hebrews 13:2 — Entertaining strangers and possibly angels unaware.
Proverbs 18:21 — Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
Galatians 1:6–9 — Paul’s warning about turning to another gospel.
Galatians 5:7 — “Who cut in on you?” and hindered you from obeying the truth.
Resources Mentioned
Pieces of You by April Farlow
April’s book explores how identity is shaped by our experiences and restored as we understand who we are in light of whose we are.
Lydia’s Place
A nonprofit founded by April Farlow that supports young adults who have experienced foster care or homelessness through housing, mentorship, and practical assistance.
And David Perceived He Was King by Dale Mast
A book referenced by Leneé about David recognizing and believing the identity and calling God had placed upon his life.
The Redeemed Perfectionist Community
A Facebook community where Christian women can continue conversations about grace, identity, perfectionism, and freedom from performance-driven faith.
Continue Your Journey
Listen to Part 2
Continue with Episode 026: The Hidden Identity Crisis Behind Perfectionism, Part 2, where Leneé and April explore obedience versus output, seasons of delay, and learning to walk at what Leneé calls the “pace of grace.”
Explore the Grace Scale Quiz
The Grace Scale Quiz can help you recognize where perfectionism, pressure, fear, and performance may still be shaping your relationship with God and the way you see yourself.